Monday, January 7, 2008

Eric Johnson's Talk at the funeral-Remembrances of Grandmother

GRANDMOTHER WOLTZ

I am very thankful for the opportunity to stand and speak about Inez Woltz. I too ask for my Heavenly Father's assistance in doing justice to her memory and life as I speak. First, I want you all to know that I wear this uniform today for her. Grandmom would ask me whenever I would come to visit, regardless of how late in the day or even if it were on a weekend, to wear this very comfortable uniform. "You'll be wearing your uniform, right?" she'd ask. And of course I'd oblige. I assure you I am quite comfortable wearing it for her today!

There are so many things one could say about Inez Woltz. As I pondered what to share, I settled on a theme, "I'm not biased."

As a proud, strong matriarch, she doted on each and every one of us -- knowing just what to say to make us all feel special and loved. "I have the best-looking, most talented and intelligent grandchildren and great-grandchildren in the world. And I'm not biased," she'd say. And with her quick wit and a sly smile she'd add, "And they all take after me!"

She was quite the celebrity too. If you ever had the chance to stay with her, you could observe countless occassions where her popularity was quite obvious. They know her by name in grocery stores, restaurants, the post office and a million other places. Accompanying her to any of these locations would reinforce her celebrity status--and her exceptional family pride. You see, not only did everyone know Inez, but through her they knew her entire family. "You're the one in the Air Force right? Stationed at Scott Air Force Base?" they'd ask me. Grandmom made sure everyone knew a little bit about each one of us.

Her celebrity status and limitless drive eclipsed her age. When faced with a choice between post- highh school graduation senior week at Ocean City, Maryland or other options, my choice was easy. I elected to stay with my grandmother. My wife Jamie, then my high school sweetheart, could not imagine choosing to stay with one's grandmother over a trip to the beach. But Jamie has since learned that Inez Woltz was no ordinary woman--and far from elderly. We had a blast that week and it was hard from ME to keep up with HER!

Years later when I'd get stationed at Andrews Air Force Base, she'd call and invite me to go work out with her. Such invitations required that I rise at 3:30 am to meet her at 5:00 am, but it was worth it. I joined her on a few occasions and it was a humbling experience. You can imagine her celebrity status at the gym and how she inspired the other, much younger patrons. I'd watch her in awe from from my treadmill as she passed from machine to machine, completing her regular workout regiment. "Don't you use the other equipment?" she'd ask. "Today's a cardio day for me, grandmom." You see, my ego was far too fragile to admit that she knew how to use equipment that I did not. When I did step off the treadmill, I made sure to let everyone know, "That's MY grandmother!" "You must be so poud," they'd say. "I am, and I'm not biased."

Recently I had yet another humbling experience. I went to purchase a new vehicle and stopped by an auto mall. I fell in love with a particular vehicle that looked like a race car. It was amazing! I had all but decided to buy it when I glanced inside and noticed the manual transmission. My heart sank -- it might has well have been a space shuttle for me to drive. But then, a painful thought crept into my mind. "Grandmom can teach you how to drive a stick!"

In spite of her Herculean strength, she did have a few quirks. I told her long ago that when and if she ever passed I'd have to share a few. There's the infamous sink. If you've been to her home you know of it. She bought a new bathroom sink at some point and took great pains in showing it off. It had a marble-like finish--and it sparked....mainly because it was never used. "Honey, go ahead and use the other sink to wash your hands. I'm trying to keep this one looking nice," she'd say. I believe it was one of my uncles that said, "I'm glad she didn't buy a new commode!"

And as has been mentioned, it was understood never to call her after 7:00 pm. She had a night-time regiment that was to be preserved. I discovered on one such occasion that even as one of her beloved grandchildren, I was not immune to the standard. I too received the lecture on when not to call. Our grandmother's quirks were like pepper...they simply seasoned an already amazing dish!

There are countless positive memories, a few of which I will close with:
* The gift exchanges and stuffed animal drawings at her home on Christmas Eve,
* It was always a pleasure to see her enjoy a Redskins game (she was an avid fan), or episodes of Jeopardy/Wheel of Fortune,
* She was always willing to whip you up something to eat at a moment's notice,
* And she never, ever forgot a birthday. None of us will ever forget Grandmom's priceless, acapella "Happy Birthday" song year after year by phone. Our birthdays will never be the same.

Inez Woltz was a spiritual warrior and provided her posterity with the best example for how to live a Christ-like life. She is indeed here with us today--and not just in spirit. She lives on in what meant the world to her--her family. The presence of each of us here today is a testament to who she was--and who she will forever be in our hearts.

We have the best grandmother in the world. And we're not biased.
____________________________

All the very best to each of you,
Eric Johnson


ERIC BECK IMAGES
www.eric-beck.com email: eric@eric-beck.com
St Louis, MO 63131

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